When a couple that has children decides to divorce, it is inevitable that they will need to maintain some sort of relationship with their ex. How intense that relationship will be depends upon a variety of factors including the age of the children. When the kids are very young, intensive communication between the two parents is usually required. That interaction could concern many things including the custody and visitation schedule, school and medical care. Just how difficult it will be for you to work with the other parent will vary. In this post we will provide tips on how to approach a parent who does not readily engage.
The first suggestion is to make sure you have proper support. If your needs are met-whether they be financial, emotional or legal-having resources behind you to address those factors can make it easier for you to deal with the matters at hand in the best possible way.
Having this support could go a long way toward avoiding criticism of the other parent. There is no question that in some circumstances this can be difficult to do, particularly when your children acknowledge the behavior of their other parent is problematic. In situations like this it may be possible to turn the situation into a learning opportunity. This approach provides your children with tools for handling similar matters in the future and can keep your relationship with the other parent from deteriorating.
Last, avoid letting your children manipulate you by using the other parent as leverage. While the other parent may encourage this behavior, holding strong and not giving in is ultimately best for your kids. While you can’t control the behavior of the other parent, you can control yours.
The tone for your relationship with your ex may be set at the time of your divorce. Because of this it is a good idea to work with an attorney who recognizes the importance of maintaining a relationship while at the same time protecting your interests and getting you all that is due.