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How can you talk to your children about your divorce?

On Behalf of | Dec 7, 2021 | Divorce

Deciding on divorce is difficult for all parties involved. When you have children, you have to inform them of your decision. According to Psychology Today, children may remember this conversation for the rest of their lives. You need to be careful how you approach the topic.

Before you talk to your children, work with your spouse to decide how to speak with them.

Discuss the divorce as a family

While you may have difficulty communicating with your spouse, your children may appreciate a family meeting. When you talk to your children as a family, you also show your kids you want to work together still. Your kids will still rely on both of you following the divorce. Talking as a couple allows them to see that you still want to work together for their health and safety.

If you have a mix of older and younger kids, you should break the news to all of them simultaneously. However, if necessary, you can take the older children aside afterward to give more details on the situation.

Determine the narrative in advance

You should never create a narrative that assigns blame. Talk with your spouse about how you plan to discuss the divorce. You do not need to tell your children the whole truth to make them feel caught in the middle. Remember adult problems are not their problem. You want to speak as a pair rather than singling one parent out. Instead of saying your spouse wants to leave, say that the two of you cannot work out your differences and need to separate.

Do not expect your children to talk right away. Some children may have questions during the conversation, but others may need time to think about what they have to say.